Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Purge of the Day: Unmentionables!

So I spent 11 days not mentioning them. Not really. I was feeling half-dead and gross, then found out I have seasonal allergies, so I got pills and now I feel great! See? Drugs make everything better!

Last week, I purged a lot of unmentionables. I like lingerie very much, so this whole operation was like a difficult break up for me. I had to keep shouting "You know why!" and running out of the room. I broke down the project into undies, bras, and the vast and exciting category of "other."

First I got rid of stuff that was faded or warped or weird-fitting. Oh, God, was there some weird-fitting. I had until recently been convinced by evil limited-stock bra stores that I was a D cup. No wonder I had a slouching problem. It turns out I'm a FF! Yeah, spelled with two Fs! So now I have better-fitting bras and can stand up like a human being, but it was long past time for me to say good-bye to some of my lovely old friends. 

I amassed a tremendous collection of straps for bras that are no longer with us. They are gone now.

I divided the undies into three categories: fun, function, and period. You know what I mean. Anything both fun and functional goes into the functional pile. The fun pile is for things that are only for fun, like they-better-pay-off-or-you'll-be-annoyed-type situations. Then, you know...  totally horrible period-only ones, limited in number to the number of days in one's period. 

Make the three piles and fold the piles in half. Then, in the morning, grab the pair that's on the outside of the pile of your choosing. After you do the laundry, unfold the piles and restock them. I've been doing it for a week, and I have to say, this may be the best system for anything ever devised by anyone. There's instant variety AND I get to be incredibly lazy!

I used two cardboard boxes (top and bottom) that thank you cards came in to make a little system of compartments for hosiery in the back of the drawer.

I can't say much useful about the "other" category. You know, same as all the other purges... (What condition is it in? Do you still like it?) I did somehow end up with a pair of chicken cutlets (I'm as puzzled as you are) that I never used. Anybody want some free boobs?

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